Shameless Self Promotion ;-) ™ © ℠ ®

Once there was a rich man, lets call him X. He had 3 sons named A, B and C. The man was earned sufficient money in his life and in his old age decided to take rest. He booked a cruiser seat and went on for a world tour. During his vaccations he sent a letter each to his sons. After 3 months the man returned. He starightaway went to his eldest son A.
X:”Hello Son A, how r u?”
A:”Hello Dad, am fine and what about u? How was ur cruise?”
X:”Son I had sent u a letter. Did U recieve that letter?”
A:”Yes dad, look here it is.” A takes his dad to a temple like structure. He points to a place highest in the structure and said,”Dad, I have placed your letter there. I worship your letter every day. ”
X was bit amazed.
X went to B’s place and asked the same question.
B:”Yes dad, I got your letter.”
B shows his dad a letter wrapped in a silk cloth and placed in most sacred place in his house.
“I recite your letter everyday.”
X was suprised.
Now X went to C and asked him the same question.
C:”That letter. Oh dad your job has been dont. I water the plants regularly and take ur dog on walt too. Ur servants also got their salaries at right time. Just one problem, I lost the letter.”
X = the so called GOD.
The letter is Geeta, Kuran or Bible, whatever your religion is.
And we are A, B and C. I hope every one will like to call him or her self C. But every 100 out of 100 is either A or B.
I am even not C. I am totally atheist. Known to consume liquor and eat non veg on Tuesdays. If I like I will shave everyday, be it sunday or tuesday or any day. If I dont like I wont shave. I will let my beard grow. My mom dad some time advise me to recite Sundarkaand. It is supposed to help me. I dont think so. I need to study my text books not Sunderkaand to clear my exams.
The following is a link to an article put by Jaya on her blog.
http://jayajha.wordpress.com/2004/12/01/why-i-am-an-atheist-bhagat-singh/
I am going to buy the book that Bhagat Singh wrote.
Once Mah said, “You dont believe in GOD. Are you comunist?” I laughed. I said am materialistic. I like money and will not share it with anyone just coz he is a citizen of my country.

Edited after Chez commented.
What is the GENDER of GOD?
Is GOD he or SHE?
I normally dont argu with believers but Chez I wil argue here.
If there is some thing like GOD, I will say my mom and dad both are like GOD. I can see them. I can feel them. Touch them. I can argue with them and in extreme cases can go against them. But still they love me. I can’t say GOD is HE or SHE. I never saw GOD and ppl like GOD are available in all Gender, Shapes, Colors and Ages.
Chez, there is nothing as GOD.
An english quote says,”I like to say Oh my GOD coz It sounds good.”
Win over urself. And U will be like GOD.

Befor starting this post I browsed Yahoo! emtionicons and cud find this.

For last 3-4 months I have been FORCED to assist my bhabhi g and Ms Navneet gfor shopping. Navneet is getting married next year. So she is on a shopping spree.
If some female is reading this I will like to tell her that you need a lot of HIMMAT(courage) to assist ladies on shopping. I like sober colours, cream and grey shades and earthy colors. Bright colors are a big no from me. I have shirts that look same. Sweaters in grey colors, Jackets in military color. T-shirts again grey or blck. Shoes, Tan color and will be buying more Woodland stuff in camel or military green shades. I used to design homepages and worked on many colourfull projects and can still diffrentiate between many colors. But after accompnying bhabhi g and Navneet I am sure that a) I can only work with Greyscale
b) My brain can only proces 8 bit colours/just some hundred not 32 bits/millions of colours.
c) that my color choice is for old guys not for the younger ones.
I was with bhabhi g in Tanishq showroom. She is one of those Indian ladies who will argue with shop keeper for 2 hours and then after 2 hours will say I was just trying this product.
Imagine this.
You enter a showroom and all the sales staff surround you. You feel like VIP. Customers are VIP, GOD for some shopkeepers and infact they are right. Now you demand for some high quality product and that too at dirt cheap price. I feel sympathatic for all thos sales persons who sell women stuff. I understand your pain. The sales staff still tries to sell you some thing.
“Look at this madam, this is latest. We have sold n pieces in just m days”, where n is too high and m is too low. Sometime I am really surprised how can the sales staff lie so perfectly.
Still you are not sure what do you want to purchase and you ask me, “What are you doing? Why dont you help me in deciding?”
“ME ”
“Yes, thats why we came together or else I wud have come with XYZ”, where XYZ is any body who you wish was here to replace you.
“OK”, I suggest some thing, an Oxidised jewellery set.
“What Chetan/Montu/Kumar? I am looking for good colors not dull things.”

The sales staff looks at my face. One more hour passes and still nothing is finalised.
“Hey bhagwan!(Oh my GOD). Its 7:30 PM. We shud leave now or else we will get late. ” this is an instruction for me to get ready to move into another showroom.
Now to sales staff, “Sorry we are getting late. Are you open on sunday?” Sales staff know even if they are open till late night this person is not going to buy any thing.
“Yes Madam”, they say smiling.
This episode has been repeated by my bhabhi g, Navneet and Neha too. Neha was one of my collegue’s GF. He asked me to accompny her. Gr8 guy. He saved his skin. At one shop packed with lot of prospective buyers Neha screamed, “Hey Chetu, look at this top. Kitna ganda hai! (its dirty!)” and the everyone in the shop first looked at the top and then at my face. Neha was no where there. My situation was very awkaward.
I dont know
a) why females need a new dress everyday?
b) Why do they take so much time(2+ hours) in choosing from just 2 options?
c) Why cant they buy Woodland stuff? After 2-3 years you have to throw away the shoes coz yu really cant wear same shoes continuosly for more than 3 years.
d) why girl T-Shirts are expensive? If you calculate the cost of material used you will find that bizness houses are arning from female clothings. They sell kids stuff to girls and charge for grown ups.
I also found some interesting things.
a) My color choice is sober instead of dull. This has been proved by sales men and my pals.
b) I hav lot of patience.
c) Menz clothing is more expensive than Girls.
d) I can wear bright colors and look kool. LookKool. LOOKKOOL.
Although I can diffrentiate between red and mehroon but still can’t figure out which color is mehroon.

3rd Dec
I will be 26+.
Time to sit back and think wat I got in last one year? wat I lost? from where I started and where have I reached?
Lets begin with begining. (Not that time when I was born just last year.)
3rd Dec 2004: B’day Gift
In the begining there was not light. I was trying to sleep. Me and my cousin. We both shared a room and he was lying on my left hand side in his bed.
Beep! Beep!
Damn it! SMS alert. As soon as you feel sleepy there is an SMS alert. Who is this? Man its her Msg.
“Oye so ja or ise band kar de”(Hey go to sleep and switch off this (cell phone)), Bhaiyya shouted. I switch the phone to silent mode. Reply her msg, “Hey ____, go to sleep yaar. its 11:30. bbye, hav sweet dreams.” As soon as I send msg, my cell vibrates again. Its Nitin. Man this sucks.”Priye Kummu, Daddu, shubhu, neelu, Pakistan wali, ______ wali, or teri sab girl frends ke saath saath meri taraf se happy B’day”. (Dear Kummu, Happy B’day from me, Daddu, Neelu, Shubhu, Sadi from Pakistan and from ___, and from all your GFs).
Those were some of best moments of my life. She and nitin wished me right when 3rd Dec began.
3rd morning, I woke up as usual at 7 AM, straight to kitchen, did dishes, made bed tea for me and bhaiya. Took Shower and got ready. No plan till now of any kind of B’day Treat. Again my cell rings. “Hello KC”, its Goldy,”Kinna buddha ho giya. Hapy B’day Veere” (How old are you, Happy B’day Bro).
I am smiling. Feeling good.
I was not planning any treat.
Again cell phone and it was her miss call now. I call back.
“Hi ___, how r u?”
“aap kaise ho”(how r u)
“Bas aap se baat hui ab theek hun, kya tum a sakti ho lunch par, every one will be coming. If you come it will be a B’day gift for me.”(fine after talking wid u. Can U come for lunch. every one else will be coming. If you come it will be a B’day gift for me.)
on 3rd of dec I didnt knew who were all those whom I called everyone. I was noticing change in beahoviour of all my FRIENDS. I didnt knew what my best FRIENDS were upto. Around 10 I am in office.
“Gud mor’g Sir and Happy B’day”. Its Tanvi. My collegue. She had bought a penas a gift for me.
“Hey Tanvi you dont need to bring gifts for me. You are younger to me. I cant take this.”
But I had to.
Afternoon, All my Best FRIENDS have wished me. Nitin was adament for a treat. OK. I called Silky, she is my another Best FRIEND but had not wished me till now.
“Hi, Silky. How r u”
“Hi Chetan, How r u.”
“Silky can u come for a lunch, I am hosting it.”
“Ummm, No chetan but why are you hosting a lunch today”
“Its my B’day treat”
“Oh am so sorry, I forgot, Happy B’day Chetan. Am really sorry”
“Never mind, can u come.”
“No sorry I cant”
I asked her 2-3 times more but she was wrking wid Airtel and didnt have any leave.
She is my Virtual Sister.
OK No problem. I call Anupama. No reply.
Yatharth, He appologises,”Happy B’day Dude. Man am really sorry, am in Dharampur.” Yatharth is wrking hard to launch his Restaurants. He is a Rich guy. Rally Rich but nice guy. I seldom see Rich guys like him.
I again call her,
“Are you coming”
“I dont know. I may and may not”
Now I call Navneet.
“Hello titli”, (Hello butterfly)
“Hi Chetan”
“Can u come for a lunch, I am hosting it.”
“Oh Chetan, am sick. I cant move. And u r asking for me to come for a lunch. Please yaar I cant get ready for a treat.” She still didnt ask me why I am hosting a lunch.
“I can come and pick you from your PG”
“ummmm, chetan yaar please samjha karo”(chetan dear understand)
“Please”
“OK, come and pick me up”, she still dont know why am hosting lunch.
OK Now the guest list is final. My best FRIENDS are on the list. Nitin has decided to drive me around in his car. 2day am a special person. We reach Navneet’s PG. She is surprised and asks whats the occasion.
“Oh CHETAN, I forgot. Happy B’day yaar.”
“Never mind”
We reach the spot.
My cell rings. Miss call. I call back.
“Hey where are you ppl. Tell me where to reach”
“You are coming!! Oh we are standing out side…”
I got my B’day gift. But she has baught me a gift.
“GIFT???”
“You need a new _____. Open it. I have put a 5 Rupees coin also.”
I am speechless and Happy obviously.
My mom has still not called and wished me. neither did my dad.
Now cell rings and its my mom.
“Happy B’day Beta”+ all mom son talks.

31st Dec & 10th Jan: Double Surprise
I wished I had not done this project. It was all miscommunication. We were going to suffer a loss of 20K. A big amount for me at that time. My cell rings. Its my client.
“Good evening sir”
“Hello chetan, you can collect your cheque 2day evening.”
SURPRISE. Man I have almost lost this money. I call Nitin and tell him this.
“Good. Do collect the cheque and thank him. Make him feel easy.”
One of my Best Friend, lets call him X, was sitting wid me. My Friend X used my machines to surf. Its like some one comes to your office, just to chat and check his emails. I have no objections. He leaves and withing 10 minutes I got another call, this time from my landlord.
SURPRISE.
“Vacate the room 2mro. I dont want you ppl here.”
In next 24 hours I come to know that my Best Friends including X, all has been trying to do every possible thing to put my little setup down. WHY? I still dont know. They Back stabbed me. Me and Nitin tried hard to persuade and at last we were successful.
I try to divert my attention to exams. I was waiting for last one month for bike. Now the decision was made. I was going to buy Splendour. The economy bike. My idea was to get red colour. But she said,”I dont like red color”. Later me and bhaiya decided we will get silver gray. 10th Jan I have my bike. “Happy now”, asked bhaiyya. “Now I need a GF”, I said. As soon as I reach office and plan for a small treat, I get a call, “Dude your best FRIENDS are planning to file an FIR against you and Nitin”.
SURPRISE for me.
I see my Best FRIENDS and they see me with a brand new bike.
SURPRISE for them.
I was still tanding with them smiling.
“Did u like the color”, I asked.
“Yes” One said, “Thank God you got this bike. I thot u will get Bullet 350″
“I will do that also. Dont worry. I didnt have enuff money. Rit now this will do for me.”
When things get tougher tough gets going.

26th Feb: Final confession
She always wondered who is that girl I always told her about. I never told her name to anyone but she exists. Who is she? I always said, “See its none of your business. I like that girl a lot but I dont want to tell her. I fear she may stop talkin wid me.”
“No you tell me her name today or I wont talk wid you.”
My Phone bills were like 1200-1400 Per month. I thot it shud end now. I finally smsed her thatI dont want to loose her and cant tell her that it was she.
She cried. Girl thing.
March. She got a new job. And only I know this. No one else close to her. And now I know more things about her. I feel safe. I got an impression that she is mature enough and she will keep our friendly relation continue. Good.
April:Turbulence
tur·bu·lence ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tûrby-lns)
n.

1. The state or quality of being turbulent: times of turbulence and confusion.
2. Turbulent flow.
3. An eddying motion of the atmosphere that interrupts the flow of wind.

True to its meaning the month started with all things going wrong. This month changed me for once and all. I have used 10k+ and still dont have money in my personal account. Neither is there any money in Company acocunt. The worst phase for company. Nitin is angry with me. Dad is not happy. And her phone calls have stopped. I called her,”We had a talk yesterday. Chetan you are getting possesive. We are just friends. ” Her behaviour has changed. She is rude. One night I got her SMS.
“Sorry I was rude.”
“Hey ___, dont worry U realised na. thats OK with me.”
But I decide now I wont call her till the time she calls me.
1 day passed. 2 days. 3 days. 1 week passed. Oh man. I am addicted. At last I give up and call her.
“Hi, how r U?”
“I am fine. I m very busy. Dont have time for useless things? got some thing imp to say?”
“No, I just called u to say Hi.”
“OK talk some time later bbye”
“BBye”
In the office scene is not different. I get a call from Chennai, good salary. Another local call. Again good package to start. This time it was the same company which said once I was useless for them. This month it was their 3rd call. Financial status of company was very poor. I had made up my mind to quit the business. I am an engineer not an enterprenaur. I didnt speak wid any one for 2 days. I tell Nitin bout my decesion. He is angry. Tries to convince me. I cant be moved. I am stable.
“OK dude so you want to F*** me. I am ready. Do it to me. But do one more thing go and tell Mr. Virdi that you will not do his project. I cant go and say all this to him.”
I said ok. I will do that.
I had decided and asked Rajeshwar for a job. He was surprised at my decesion. He advised me to stay back. I insisted. OK. He said,” I can look for a job here in South India. Can you relocate?”
“YES”
I tell bhaiyya about my decesion. He tells me his story. His dad exoired when he was doing LLB. He cud have got a job in some quotta. But he had decided to go against the odds. He is well established now. But I am not convinced. “OK. Go and join some where.”, he said.
In the mean time I speak with dad. Dad used to practice astrology. He said,”Beta(Son), this period is not good. The planets are not good. Stay calm and do whatever you want. ”
Mom, “Son, I will say you go for business. Keep your company running. We want to see you growing. Rest do what you feel is good for you.”
I fix an appointment wid Mr. Virdi.
Just 15 mins.
Those 15 mins made me think about every one else than myself.
Mr. Virdi,”Chetan no one can stop you. If you want to leave, you can. I suggest you again give a thought to your decesion. Ur decesion will also affect my position here in company. I had worked very hard on this project’s documentation which we will be starting soon and this project means a lot to our company”.
Wait Dear, I tell my self, you dont give up easy. This is not your quality. You can live w/out her. you can run a company. Where is you AB+ve attitude.
OK I am not going anywhere.
May 2005:Virtual World
I have found one more good thing in April. Mah. She is my Virtual GF. Hope she had been a REAL ONE. She is beautiful. Every one swear by her beauty. It was all accidental. I saw her in a chat room and asked her wat his name meant. She said he is she and from Iran. Do ppl and that too females use internet in Tehran. I thot she is one of those Burqa Clad woman. Anyway. Curiosity attracted me to her. Initially she said she was all alone. Bachelor. And on top of that She is a graphic designer. Good for me. I need some one to doe graphics for my company. One day she said,
“Do you want to see me?”
“Yes, sure” Curious, how do a female in burqa look on cam.
and when I see her I said
“You are a liar, you are not from Iran. No one in Iran is like you”
“What are you saying”
“You are so beautiful and wearing SPAGHETTI TOP”
“What does this mean?”
Later I found that Iran is not like wat we think. Iran is closely linked to India. I leaerned some Persian words and found that Hindi is full of Persian words. Ppl in Persia(Iran) are big fan of Indian movies. infact Mah knows more hindi songs than I know.
One day she was not in a good mood. I consoled her. Said some good words. She said, “You are so kind”. I said,”Hey am just a simple guy. Infact you are so beautiful and you still talk to me. If I had been in Iran I wud have proposed you for marriage.”
“HAHAHA. you are kidding”
“No am serius. ” How can I forgot her at this moment.

“Really”
“Yes Mah. I am in a kind of addiction. I want to see you everyday. I dont know what do ppl say but i think its a kind of love”. where is she.
One day she tells me, “Montu, I am married”. Not a blow to me.
“OK. Not a problem. Now as you have told me I can trust you more. You can lie to me easily but you didnt. This means you are honest.”
“Oh you are so kind with me ”
“No dear, I am a simple guy. ”
She saw me on cam and was quite for a moment.
“What happened”
“Am looking at my BF. He is cute.”
Now I have a card sent by her. A CD of her fav music which includes some tracks by DJ Aligator and Mundiyan to bach ke rahin track by DJ MC.
June to Dec: Change is a natural process.
I have earned more than 2000 US$ from just 2-3 offshore projects+ enuff money to satisfy my needs. I called every one thruout the year. Wished my BEST FRIENDS Happy B’day on their B’day. Even to all those who didnt wish me. Some were really surprised. Tanvi for example didnt imagine in her dreams that I will call her and wish her.
Tanvi deserved this. She invited us on her bro’s marriage and introduced us with every one at the marriage. It was too mcuh for me and Nitin. They treated us like we were some kind of VIPs. Every relative of Tanvi stood up from their seat. Even if he or she was elder to us. Same way she also invited me on her bro’s marriage. She didnt even bothered me to introdouce to her bro.
She really hurt me. But I still have that soft corner for her and Mah also knows about this.
I have lost her. Biggest Loss of the year.
I had only one thing to fiorget about this loss. Work 24 hours and I did the same. Result. I have pain in my back, that defeates the pain in my heart. Rising Blood pressure Leve and Stress. These all keep me fit, my back pains dont let me feel the void create by her loss.
But I gained many things. I have more than 30 clients now. Own my own hosting account. More than 5 personal projects running. Will be soon launching dating site too. Can do more with PHP. Joined Chandigarh Linux users group. Got my own PAN card and first time in my life I filed ITR. Bike. small team. My Fav color trousers . Bhabhi g is in Chandigarh and so is my niece to rule the place. No more botheration of kitchen. Yes my sessions of Bacardi has reduced. I still dont know how will finish the bottle I have.Every one at home thinks am a pure Brahmin.
Over all (leaving her and month of april) the year was good. Ccoming year is full of hopes. Nitin is in Canada. Kinfosysindia.com and Blue Reef wil start wrking jointly from next year Jan. too many projects in Pipe line. Too many hopes. Wish for the best.
Happy B’day Kumar Chetan Sharma.