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SANSANI!!!

SANSANI!!!
This is the title of a TV Show telecasted on Star News. This is the best among all the worst thing on this channel. Hosted by a Pony Tail Anchor this show is based on crimes committed by normal man.
So If Star news has Sansani how can sabse Tez News Channels can stay behind. Every channel has its own version of India’s Most Wanted. One must watch these shows to assess how our Hindi news channels work.
Lets begin with a hypothetical scene. Santa Singh is going to jump from 100th floor of a building. He is going to commit SUICIDE. Switch on your TV and news reader will suddenly stop reading news.
“Kshama karen. lekin abhi abhi hamare reporter Xyz ne khabar di hai ke Santa Singh khudkushi karne wale hain. Chaliye hum aapko GHATNA STHAL par lechalte hai. Hello XYZ kya aap meri awaz sun sakte hain”.
Ur tv screen is split into 2 parts one image shows news reader with a caption some where saying Studio and other image with another caption somewhere saying “Ghatnasthal” and aman appears holding a mic in his hand.
“Haan Ms/Mr News reader main aapki awaz sun sakta hun. Aap mere peeche dekh sakte hain ke Santa Singh 100vi manzil par khade hain. Pichle aadhe ghante se woh khudkushi ki koshish kar rahe hain. Hum badi msuhkil se un tak pahunch paye hain.”
News Reader(NR):”Xyz kya aap meri awaz sun rahe hain, kya aap jaante hain ke santa singh khudkushi kyon kar rahe hai. Darshakonkohum ye bata de ke aap tak ye tasveere lane wala hamara channel pehla hai.”
XYZ:”NR abhi tak hame ye nahi pata laga par prashasan ko suchna mil chuki hai.”
XYZ leaps toward santa singh.
XYZ:”Santa g aap khudkushi karne ja rahe hain aap ko KAISA LAG RAHA HAI?”

Santa is on focus now.

Santa Singh(SS):”G muje…”

Suddenly the TV screen shows NR looking at papers on her desk. Its sudden so NR tries to recall what all is going on and takes control.

NR:”Abhi aap dekh rahe the SS ki khudkushi. Hamara TV crew badi mushkil se apni jaan khatre me daal kar SS g ke paas phuncha hai. Hum aapko ye bata de ke ke hamara ye live telecast SS ke dead hone ki puri coverage karega. Kya SS khudkushi kar payenge ya nahi? Yadi aap apni rai dena chaahte hain toabhi aap hame SMS kar sakte hain. Hamra number hai 420. Aap hame hamare email ID feedback news channel. Com par email bhi kar sakte hain. Aap se milte hain break ke baad.”

And a nice graphic with thundering music appears “Santa chala khudkushi karne”

And you see a men’s undergarment ad done by a woman.

(Commercial) Break is over.

NR:”Aap dekh rahe hain __ News Channel. Jiase ke hamne abhi break se pehle dikhaya hamare camera man Mr Camera Man aur hamare news reporter XYZ santa singh ki khudkushi ki live coverage kar rahe hain. Hamare saath hai is samay Shreeman Psychologist (SP) jo batayenge ke log khudkushi kyo karte hai. Namaskar SP. ” NR addresses to SP, “ aap ka __ news channel me swagat hai. SP G hamare chennel ne ek survey kiya hai jis me paya giya hai ke aaj kal log khudkushi bahut karne lage hain. Aap is baare me kya kahenge ”

SP:”Dhanyawaad NR g, Ye bahut hi dukh ki baat hai…”

Suddnely the TV screen is again split into two parts. One showing a scene from studio and other from ghatnasthal. The ghatnasthal scene shows SS still leaping over the wall. And suddenly XYZ appear holding the mic and shouts, “Aap dekh rahe hain ke SS g ne fir se kudne ki koshish ki”

SP is cut short by NR:”G XYZ aap kya dekh rahe hain..”

Ah shit CRAP. You switch to another channel. You have that ultimate instrument called TV remote. Again this channel is showing the same Live Telecast of SS going to commit suicide. This scene is same on all Hindi news channel. You just need to replace NR, XYZ and SP.

This is not all. These news channel are attacking privacy. I remember a India TV showing faces of some teenagers who were caught by police in cyber cafes for some immoral practices. What is this? What are these news channel doing when innocent people are killed by terrorists in J&K. Did they show the faces of dead. Did they show how brutally Pakistani soldiers treated to our Indian Soldiers during Kargil. Or did they show mutilated bodies of BSF Jawans which were handed over to India by Bangladesh Rifles. All they show is Kareena kissed Shahid. This country is not interested in smooches of Kareena and Shahid. If a man kisses his beloved what is wrong?

These news channels have made TV News broadcasting worst in India. All these news channel care about is there TRP ratings. They will just spread SANSANI to attract viewers.

In the mean time, We again switch to our hindi news channel.

XYZ is still trying to reach SS. Some other news channels have also managed to reach at ghatnasthal. Our XYZ is now finally near SS. He is using a ladder which his news channel has PROVIDED him.

XYZ:”Sardar g aap khudkushi kyo kar rahe hain.”

SS:”Oye yaar main to…”

XYZ interupts:”Kya aap ko koi mansik pareshaani hai. Kya aap sarkar ki galat nitiyon se pareshaan hain. NR kyaa aap SS se koi prshan puchna chahengi”

Mean while the studio shot is showing the scene where discussion with SP is going on.

NR:”G XYZ, Kya SS ye bat payenge ke is me kahin Pakistan ka haath to nahi. Hamare grah mantri g ke niji sachive ne kaha hai ke is me videshi shaktiyon ka haath hai.”

The second part of screen is still showing SS leaping over the wall.

XYZ to SS:”SS g aap is vishaya me kya kahenge”

SS:”Oh yaar muje GAS ho gayi thi. Is liye main yahan chat par a giya tha. Upar se neeche dekhne me maja a raha tha. Fir achanak aap log ikathe ho gaye. Main to itni der se camera me aane ki koshish kar raha hun. Oye bantiya dekh main TV par hun.” and SS waves his hand towards the camera
PS: Still not satisfied. I need your help in writing this post.