Shameless Self Promotion ;-)™ © ®

This is a piece of fiction. This has been inspired by a real life incident.
How can cars without fuel run? Following is a fiction inspired from a real life incidence.

Will a vehicle run without fuel? Anyone will say no. Basanti had another idea.
Basanti. Oh Basanti. Good-looking gal. Fair colored. Fieve feet 2 inches with one-inch heel. Slim. Perfect 7/10 figure. She was having trouble in “using internet”. She used to call me on my cell. This was the time when incoming was paid and Nokia 3310 was a luxury. My dad in order to immobilize me preferred to get me cell phone rather than a bike. He used to call me any time. Now he knew what was eating, wearing, where was I roaming and with whom I was roaming.
One day Basanti insisted me to visit her home. Oh boy. This was an irresistible offer. A beautiful gal is inviting you. I started daydreaming. I was sure I would seduce her with my computing and hardware skills. But…
One week she continuously bugged me and I promised her that I would visit her on Friday or Saturday. Shubhu heard this and he said, “Dude this is the right chance. Go and do it.”
Ok I will do it. But what I am supposed to do?
OOPS said,” Moron go and hug her. Kiss her. If some thing goes wrong then appologise.”
Hey that’s too much. I don’t have guts to stand in front of her. And these guys want me to touch her. Not touch but kiss her.
Any way the D-Day approached. Hey wait a minute. I don’t even have a bicycle. How will I go to her house?
Solution. Ask for a lift. I asked my cousin to drop me near her house. He agreed but with some conditions.
“If I don’t hear a good news in the evening I will kill you.”
“What good news?”
“Dude this is the right time. Propose her.”
“What??”
“Yes”
“Oh come on brother.”
“I mean it. Go and do it.”
Oh no not again. This time I knew what he wanted me to do. So I didn’t ask him the do part. I again asked, “So you will drop me?”
“No, my colleague will drop you. I am bit busy.”
He called his colleague, “Hey Ajay listen my cousin have to see her girl friend. You spare some time and just drop him near her house and he will give you a call when he is finished doing his stuff, you collect him back.” And then he smiled.
I collected my toolkit, pack of CDs, checked that I have proper driver CDs
I reached her house armed with my toolkit and a pack of CDs. I was sure even if I didn’t kiss her I would impress her.
In all these preparations I forgot to have a proper breakfast and just swallowed a slice of bread with butter. I checked my hairstyle. I need shampoo and I must shave. I chose my new T-Shirt and denim with sport shoes. Wow my watch also matched with my clothes. So the dull looking engineer turned into a wow looking kool dude. “Yo Man! You rock”, I told myself.
Ring ring.
It’s my cell and oh it’s Basanti again.
“Hey, how are you”
“I am fine, when are you coming”
“I will come in after noon”
“OK, I am waiting for you.”
YESSSS!!!.
She is waiting for me. I will DO it. Come on KC, you can do it.
Around 1:30, Ajay Bhaiyya came, “Oye hero, are you ready for date?”
I said blushing, “Cool down brother. I am just going to fix a PC.”
“But Shelly told me…”, he looked at me carefully, ” and you have dressed up for a date. You never told me about your girl friend.”
After my 10 minutes explanation he said, “Listen man, I just want results. I will drop you there.”
He dropped me near her house and said, “Best of luck. Go ahead and do it.”
Yes, now I was in battleground. I needed lo of best wishes to survive.
I knocked at the door.
Her father greeted me.
“Hello son. She is waiting for you only”.
I smiled. It was the only gesture I could have at that time. I even did not introduce myself. And he recognized me. And there you see whole family. Her mom. Her brother also. They all meet me as I am a star.
“Come have lunch. Although we just finished but it wont take much time for me to prepare for you.” Her mother said after a quick introduction.
“No thanks aunty. I just had my meal.” I was lying. I had skipped breakfast and lunch was not planned. I was hungry. I am very shy guy when I meet new persons. Eating at some one’s place is like climbing mountain Everest for me. I even avoid drinking a glass of water. And I did not expect this. I was looking for a chance and now the chance of that chance had vanished.
They tried to force me but when I am determined no one can force me.
Now there was no way I could do that so like a doctor I enquired, “So where is the PC?”
Now it was her turn to speak, “I will show you first let me show you my house.”
“Yes beta.” Her dad supported. They both formed a majority.
And they took me to all rooms and even told me about expensive curtains. I am a dumb guy. I could not understand all the aesthetics.
And at last they showed me the PC. I was with her in her room. I was only looking at her PC and all I could see was a PC on a table and a chair. I was unable to turn my head and see anything else. I feel nervous at new places.
“So what is the actual problem?”
My hands were running on keyboard. 45 words per minute. I don’t touch mouse when I want to impress some one with my skills.
“Internet is not working,” she said innocently.
“Oh. Did u check all the connections?”
“Chetan I did everything. Please don’t trust me and you again check everything.” Again innocence.
Innocence is more lethal than a nuclear bomb.
“Ok I will do”, I said placing back keyboard.
Her brother joined us, “Do you have Oracle?”
He just surfaced like Agent Smith surfaced every now and then to make Neo’s life hell.
“No”, I also wanted to shout “Leave US alone.”
Some one gives me the Desert Eagle and I dump all the bullets in this guy’s chest. Any way.
I check everything.
Cables. Ok.
Jacks. Ok.
Dial tone. Ok.
Modem installed? Yes.
I even heard dial tone using windows dialer.
Everything is ok.
Then what is the problem?
I turn to her. Face to face this time. Oh she is fair colored. She can beat all the good-looking gals. Can I touch her now? Kiss?
“I need an internet account. I don’t have any package. What is the user name and password for this account?”
I double clicked and opened a dialup connection.
“I don’t have any account.” She said.
“Then how did you connect to internet last time?” Me said.
“I used this account.” And she wrote a user name password pair on a piece of paper.
Stupid girl. She could have told me verbally and could have saved this piece of paper for writing a love letter to me. SMS were not so normal that time.
I use the information and I was also not able to connect to Internet.
This was really a problem.
I decided to open the computer cabinet. I looked at her again. Shall I ask her for a date? Not now. Simply ask her if I can open the cabinet or not. There is high probability she will say yes to this question. The question of date must wait.
I asked her if I could open the cabinet. She looked at her brother and the guy looked at me. I got it. I have to assure them that I was not going to steal their RAM.
“Nothing will happen. I just want to check some connection.”
“No no. You open the cabinet if you want” her brother said.
WOW. I have some presence in this house. The girl likes me and her brother also likes me. Good.
I opened the cabinet. Checked modem. Touched CPU. Done everything. It was like a doctor checking X-Ray, blood report, urine report, stool report and blood pressure.
I reboot the machine. Again try to login. This time I looked at the error code. Username and or password are wrong.
I decided to use my account.
“There is some problem. I will use my account.” I wanted to tell her that how expensive was the account and I was only using this for her. I can buy all the internet packages for her. All the dialup accounts. Unlimited Internet access. Just be my date.
I changed settings to my account and it worked.
“See it’s working.” I told her. Her brother who was lying inactive on the bed for all this time suddenly gained some energy and said, “wow”.
He jumped from bed and stood behind me looking at the screen as it was showing Aishwarya Rai wearing bikini.
I launched Internet explorer and logged into my yahoo account.
Everything was working fine.
I disconnected the machine and then again used old settings. I was unable to connect.
I again logged in using my account details. She was looking at screen and her brother standing behind me. This time I decided to check her account details. I visited the ISP’s site and checked her account.
Her account has expired 2 weeks back.
I wanted to slam my head against wall.
“You need new account.” I told her.
“Really? No one told me that.”
I was planning to go on a date with her but she even can’t renew her internet account how can she live with me. Now I wanted to commit suicide.

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