Category: Everything

Demystifying the silicon valley of India – Bangalore

Posted by Montu – June 4, 2011

Read the following words

  • The silicon valley of India
  • Tier 1 city of India
  • Home to ISRO
  • Home to HAL
  • Home to IISc
  • Home to IIM
  • Home  to R&D centre of many fortune 500 companies
  • City of lakes
  • City of gardens

And now close your eyes. What do you see?
A planned city, full of life, full of intellect, jiving and thriving and all other good things.

Come to Bangalore. Experience the reality. Bangalore like any other city in India

  • Doesn’t have infrastructure, worst than Gurgaon. Gurgaon is some time referred to as a millennium city, I used to call it a minimum city. Bangalore is minimal.
  • Most of the by lanes and roads and streets are one directional. Be aware while riding your vehicle.
  • No traffic sense at all. I usually compare people when I compare two places. Bangalore scores here. People in Bangalore are much more educated. There are very few manufacturing facilities in Bangalore. People here have white collar jobs and hence one can assume, people in Bangalore are much more sensible. Nope, when it comes to traffic, they are not.
  • There was a news item in Times of India regarding women in Marathalli using mineral water cans…for washing and bathing. I am exaggerating. Not only women the whole household. Why? There is no adequate water supply in Bangalore. The area named Marathalli is close to International Tech Park and doesn’t have water supply from corporation. People mostly survive on water tankers and bore-wells. Eh!, this is common in many other cities, you may say. But, we are talking about city of lakes.
  • Oh well the thing related to water do not end here. Most of the housing complexes are not connected to any central sewerage system. So where does the waste go? To the nearest lake. And well, if these housing complexes are not connected to any water supply system then from where do they source their water? Water tankers who source water from…surprise!!!  The nearest lake. Don’t you think the guy or gal or whosoever invented the phrase “a full cycle” deserves an award?
  • Everything is expensive. Things are further aggravated with highest tax structure. No the Bangalore isn’t a culprit here. The Karnataka state imposes insanely high tax slab on vehicles. So a vehicle can cost you around 10% extra in Karnataka. Fuel is expensive. On top of it, the business owners think that every Tom, Dick and Harry is earning millions of bucks and its their right to sell things at at least 1.5 times the original price. Most of business owners in Gurgaon have also learned this trick. So I doubt if Bangalore would be able to hold this position all alone, Gurgaon is certainly going to share this title. Metros normally prove the saying right that income rises to meet expenses.
  • Gardens in Bangalore? Lal Bagh. And…? Well…there are lakes. Where you have to pay entry fee. Imagine someone comes from Chandigarh, pays a nominal fee of 50 Bucks to see lake with shoddily managed, I doubt if the word “managed” can be used, side walks. An average Chandigarhian can take pride in their one and only well maintained and beautiful lake and Rose Garden, Rock Garden, Shanti Van and Leisure valley and green belt in every sector, there were at least 49 developed sectors in Chandigarh 4 years ago.

Oh man this is so sad, gloomy, dark side of Bangalore. I am being pessimist. I suck. I need to be hanged on MG Road on busy Sunday. Or better be slaughtered in Chinnaswamy stadium with the whole event being live telecasted on all TV Networks. How dare I present such a horrible image of Bangalore? No, Bangalore is not so sad place. Bangalore suffers from same problem, poor leadership chosen by misguided poor and illiterate people. Sad. I hate being in Bangalore just coz am away from my folks. I can not just drive to my folks on a weekend so I end up cribbing about Bangalore. I am biased. Its really a fun and cool place.

  • The weather is the firs thing, I can wear T-Shirts, Denims and Sandals whole year. Damn it. I have stopped wearing formal clothes. The weather is really more or less like the weather in California.
  • Its a green city. Much much greener than Gurgaon and my home town but not like Chandigarh of course. Though people complain about BBMP felling of trees every now and then but I still find Bangalore to be a green city.
  • Multicultural city. You can meet people from Kashmir to Kanyakumari, literally. Delhi up to some extent, not the whole NCR, has this kind of cultural mix.
  • And then, if the other guy can’t speak English he can understand and speak in Hindi. There are people from Rajasthan who speak fluent Hindi, Marwari and Kannada and can understand English very well. A rare scene in NCR and much rarer in Chandigarh.
  • Talent is here. Yes. Most of the startups are here. Most of the software technological things are happening here. You are master of damn shit technology, come to Banaglore, you will be treated like a king. If you have can do attitude and will do attitude, come to Bangalore. Talent is welcomed here. The only reason I am here in Bangalore is that I might not see the same opportunity in NCR in near future.
  • Ask a Punjabi if he would like to have a liquor vend at every corner, he will say “Yes!”. Bangalore is for those Punjabis.

In the end, Bangalore is like any other overcrowded Indian metro city. There are things that make me say, “Bangalore sucks!!!” and then I end up saying, “Oh I love this weather!”.

How to: Pizza at home

Posted by Montu – April 18, 2011

I am not a very big fan of Pizza. But I don’t even hate tasty junk food. So here goes my recipe of a home made pizza. Let us start with requirement analysis.Requirements for dough:

  • A convection microwave oven :D
  • Will to eat your own…pizza
  • Flour, at least one and half cup
  • Yeast, at least a tablespoon
  • Sugar, at least a tablespoon
  • Salt, at least a tablespoon
  • Cooking oil, one can use refined vegetable oil but if Olive oil is recommended, at least two tablespoons

Requirements for topping:

  • Onion, one medium sized
  • Capsicum, one medium sized
  • Tomato, one medium sized
  • Pizza cheese, mozzarella is available easily
  • Pizza sauce, if pizza sauce is not available, try tomato ketchup or tomato sauce
  • Oregano
  • Mushrooms, optional
  • Baby corn, optional
  • Jalapeños,optional

Development phase one – Pizza Dough:
Warm, not boil, half a cup of water, add tablespoon yeast, half tablespoon salt and sugar in it, dissolve everything in water. Warm water activates yeast. This gives you a mixture that will help pizza dough to rise. Take one cup flour and 2 teaspoon oil and half a cup of water. Mix vigorously in a bowl. Add the yeast mixture. Knead the dough. You still have half a cup of flour left and use this flour if required in kneading the dough. If you have ever kneaded dough you will know when the kneading is done. If this is first time, then when you press the dough and  dough doesn’t sticks to fingers its done. Leave the dough aside for at least 15 minutes.Check the dough regularly at ten minutes of interval, it must rise. If you have followed the measurement properly the dough must have expanded at least one and half times of original size. If its not the case, better wait. To make this process fast, place the dough in warm and dry place. Some microwaves allows you to do this.If the dough has risen, take a ball of dough and roll this ball using rolling pin or using hands into a round thick disc. The disc should not be more than half a centimetre thick. And behold, you have a pizza base!
Development phase two – Pizza Toppings:
Finely slice tomato, onion and capsicum and other optional material. Grate the cheese. That’s it.
Development phase three – Bake the Pizza:
Preheat the oven at 250 degrees for 5 minutes. Till the oven heats up. I have a Teflon coated metallic tray so I didn’t need to dust the tray with flour, you may have to dust the tray. Spread the pizza base in baking tray. Spread pizza sauce on base, then finely lay the toppings on base, sprinkle grated cheese on top of topping. You can sprinkle oregano on top of cheese. Put the tray in oven and bake the pizza for minimum 9 to maximum 12 minutes in preheated oven at 250 degrees. The baking time depends on your oven. The pizza base will rise while baking.After 9/12minutes your pizza is ready! Take out the tray and taste pizza.
BE CAREFUL WITH OVEN AND HOT TRAY.

Aloo ki love story

Posted by Montu – December 21, 2010

Just for a change, I stole this from web and spiced it up :D
Aalu loved Bhindi :X 8->
1 day Aalu :"> proposed to Bhindi, @};- [-o<
But Bhindi said, u r so fat, golu molu ;)) :@)
And I m so slim, size zero, that’s why I dont like u [-(  
Aalu was heart broken =((
Now Aalu has many girlfriends
Aalu-Ghobi ;)
Aalu-Methi ;;)
Aalu-Mutter B-)
But Bhindi is still single…:(
Moral – You will be always lonely if you leave a CUTE MOTU \:D/

Suffer after reading

Posted by Montu – October 3, 2010

This is an email, which was sent to me by a “software engineer” part of my team. I have changed names for obvious reasons:

Today I seen XYZ code base with URLs comparing. My Remote shell pcu code Base is not related to That URL. so, I find in that on trunk, XYZ code is related code base so that code base and URLs I am observing only. because I don’t have permission to web browser. 
My other colleagues and I were wondering how the hell he go into our team? Things do happen.

10 reasons you must watch “Dabangg”

Posted by Montu – September 18, 2010

  1. You are sick of loud and outrageous comedies of Button Khula Hai Akshay Kumar.
  2. You dont feel happy & gay after watching K-Jo flicks.
  3. You are a Rajni KantH fan and or love to watch outrageous gravity defying scenes that challenge your intelligence. (The extra Hetch H is intentional.)
  4. You are a pervert and watch any movie that has an item number, specially if the item number was performed by Malaika Arora Khan.
  5. You promote newcomer, regard less of how good or bad they act.
  6. You are curious to know why every other person watches Dabangg, doesn’t find anything special in the movie and still asks you to watch the movie once. (Do note, I am one of those who is recommending you this movie.)
  7. You are sick of watching reruns of CID or some crappy reality show or sob sob Saas/Bahu/Behen/Bhabhi…soap operas or prefixed cricket matches on TV.
  8. You want to donate your hard earned money to multiplexes who charge you 3 times the actual price of anything.
  9. You have nothing else to do.
  10. You are a die hard Salman Khan fan. Salman carries the movie and no one else can do this.

Do watch Dabangg.