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Ludhiana to LA

Montu — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:58:51 +0000

I will be in LA on 13th July. It’s an achievement for me compared to my careless attitude that I am traveling abroad on a professional visit. Last sentence simply means I am not worth but still…

if you see unable to load dynamic library php_mysql.dll

Montu — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:54:15 +0000

If you are trying to do what I did, install PHP5 and Apache 2 on Windows XP machine using an Apache installer and a zipped PHP, then you may see this message “unable to load dynamic library php_mysql.dll”, locate “libmysql.dll” and copy to “windows/system32″, and 3nj0y.

if you can’t load/find phpapache2.dll

Montu — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:43:55 +0000

If you are trying to do what I did, install PHP5 and Apache 2 on Windows XP machine using an Apache installer and a zipped PHP, then you are bound to see these messages
HTTPD: Syntax error on line 485 of C:/amp/apache2/conf/httpd.conf: Cannot load C:/amp/apache2/php5apache2.dll into server: The specified module could not be found.

The solution is to add this to your file
#load the php main library to avoid dll hell Loadfile "C:\pathtophp\php5ts.dll"

#load the sapi so that apache can use php
LoadModule php5_module “C:\pathtophp\php5apache2_2.dll”

#set the php.ini location so that you don’t have to waste time guessing where it is
PHPIniDir “C:\pathtophp”

#Hook the php file extensions, notice that Addtype is NOT USED, since that’s just stupid
AddHandler application/x-httpd-php .php
AddHandler application/x-httpd-php-source .phps

Mind it!

Montu — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 04:58:23 +0000

Everything is different in Chennai, everything. Even English is diffrent. Here are few thngs I read.

FRUT JOOS. Good for health.
Parcel Food Not Allowed Here.
The customer is king in our business.
Thunduri Rothi
I am wish for the pongal.
I have needs for a one room

This English is not common but also not so rare.

Trapped!!!

Montu — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:35:09 +0000

No internet connection at my place

Everything blocked at work

Alien city

I am trapped.

Mind it!

Aakhiri alwida

Montu — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 15:37:17 +0000

I am moving to Chennai, where people add extra “H”etch in every name.

I will be boarding bus to Delhi, from Delhi I will be boarding a flight to Chennai, on 23rd June I will be in Chennai.

I will miss Chandigarh a lot.

Mind it!

I feel proud!

Montu — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 07:03:02 +0000

(12:21:33 IST) Jacob @ GC: thanks chetan
(12:21:42 IST) Jacob @ GC: we’ll be in touch then sometime next week
(12:21:49 IST) Chetan@globalcoding: sure
(12:21:51 IST) Jacob @ GC: check out EDU and makes sure everything is running
(12:21:57 IST) Chetan@globalcoding: will do that
(12:21:57 IST) Jacob @ GC: i really appreciate all you have done
(12:22:11 IST) Jacob @ GC: and i hope to always have you work for me!
(12:22:24 IST) Chetan@globalcoding:
(12:22:44 IST) Chetan@globalcoding: thanks and it was always nice working and interacting with you
(12:23:36 IST) Jacob @ GC: you are a great worker and i’ve been honored to work with you
(12:23:53 IST) Jacob @ GC: please let me always work with you …even if on a small level

Jacob is one of our client.

realisation

Montu — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:47:21 +0000

16th June, 2008, 01:19 hours, I have just realized that I will be 30 years old in coming 6 months…

…and I still haven’t…

Thanks to…

Ten commandments for code optimization (alpha release :P)

Montu — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:29:10 +0000

I have been reading, studying, googling about code and SQL optimisation. There are books on this subject. Following is the crux of everything. I will try to compile a list of tips for PHP, JavaScript, Apache and SQL optimisation too, hence the beta status. The following list is applicable to any (God Damn) Computer language.

I. Thy shall never calculate or evaluate an expression at every iteration.
Following is a sin
for(i=0;i //do some thing }
The same applies to SQL too. If you just need id and name from a user table don’t use SELECT * in fact use SELECT id, name FROM users. And this is not all, performing calculations on column name too slow downs the query. Avoid this too.
II. Thy shall avoid initialise and then assign. Directly assign. Save call to initialisation.
III. Thy shall avoid too many elseifs, use switch. Put the most common cases first.
IV. Thy shall avoid post increments and decrements in side a loop expression.
V. Global variable is an act of adultery. In fact avoid declaring variables as much as possible and declare variables in inner loops. They will be out of scope immidiately.
VI. Thy shall make local functions static.
VII. Thy shall avoid expensive operations.
Interestingly addition is faster than multiplication. But if you need to add first 100 integers use a mathematical formula. Why? Coz’ it will be cheap.
VIII. Thy shall always cache the data required frequently.
IX. Thy shall always “kill” the unused variable, claim the memory occupied by these and return to the system.
X. Thy shall never reinvent the wheel.
Don’t write a new sqrt() function if it is already there. RTFM. Language constructs are better than your own home baked functions.

Breaking “News”

Montu — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:04:36 +0000

News channels now a days are providing breaking news that makes me think why they are breaking news. Recently Mumbai administration warned news channel against showing file video clippings of 2006 floods without labeling them as file. In recent times level of journalism have dropped to lowest. With electronic media always looking for some “breaking news” every news which is of no use is a news now. My colleague have sent me following images to prove more.

Click these images to view the full image of “breaking news”. Apparently, ironically, (un)luckily the channel telecasting all these “breaking news” is our own, the best, award winning, none else, “Aaj Tak“. I have got loads of things to say for our favorite news channel. A pre historic post regarding this was supposed to appear on a blog too.